The Day Before College

The leaves are changing color, the Blazers start the regular season in a month, and I'm starting college classes tomorrow. All in all, this is an exciting time for me!

I'm nervous. It's hard to get over the pre-first day of school jitters, not matter what.

I mean, what if nobody likes me? What if all my classes are easy for everyone, but me? What if my car breaks down in the middle of the road and some one kidnaps me? What if I DON'T meet my future husband? Ring by spring, come on!

I was kidding about the last part, because I have far more important things to do with my life than worry about that right now, but the others are very real concerns for me.

My friends and my family are reassuring me, though.

"At least one person will like you. I mean, professors practically have to like you or pretend to like you."

"Even if you suck in a class, there will be someone that is doing equally as terrible, or worse, than you."

"If your car breaks down then you can use your cell phone. If your cell phone doesn't work then you can use your legs."

This has all been very encouraging. I truly do not know what I would do without them.

On a more serous not, this is a strange time in life. I feel like an adult for the first time in ever. I usually feel like a kid in a short women's body. Is it possible to get worse at conversing with strangers as one gets older? And is it okay that sometime's I like hanging out with children more than I like speaking to adults? Does anybody else feel like replying "I'm actually going to drop out of college and run away with the circus until I meet an Australian guy named Pablo who defies all sorts of stereotypes and then we are going to get married and I am going to rely solely on him for my livelihood." when somebody asks what you are majoring in?

This change is strange. My little sister said it best when she told me "I just wish that everything could go back to the way it was." Meaning before our older siblings left to pursue their lives in college, the army, and marriage. And part of that resonates with me so much. I long for comfort and familiarity. But, more so, I long to finally do the things I dreamed of as a child. To discover my passion and my calling. To change things about the world that only someone who is older can.

This change is strange, yet exciting. And best of all, is knowing that I will succeed. Whatever success looks like in my life, I will reach it. Because I have a God who is for me. A God who loves me. A God who created me and my destiny. A God who walks before me and with me every step of the way. So, despite being nervous, I am reassured. God is making my crooked paths straight and nothing can separate us.