How to Make a Friend

I have figured out the golden rule of friendship. What makes "friends" "best friends" and "best friends" "best friends forever".

I cannot believe that it has taken me this long to figure out.

If I had known I would have more friends.

Or a friend.

Anyways, the secret is the following: a nickname. A nickname! To have a best friend you give someone a nickname. It's simple, really. Elementary, Watson, and all that. This small gesture can make an acquaintance a bosom friend (Anne of Green Gables fan, anyone?).

It struck me as I browsed my Twitter feed. Someone was complaining about having no friends (similar to the manner in which I mourned above) and then someone else said "Love you *nickname*." And it instantly brightened up the first person's day to figure out that they did, indeed, have at least one friend.

And they promptly replied, "You too, *nickname*" and called it a day.

It was strange, though, because in that moment I felt that the transfer of nicknames spoke more of love than the actual proclamation itself. The nickname bespoke camaraderie and inside jokes.

Therefore, if you want a friend, give a stranger a nickname. Just not behind their back, because that is not the sort of friendship I am referring to.

A nickname will take you from point A (stranger/acquaintance) to point B (friend) but to reach C, D, and maybe even Z you will have to insert some more substance into the relationship.

Things like love, honesty, loyalty, class, and hilarity usually do well there.