Coming Back to Him

Sidenote: First off, I want to thank everyone who has been tagging along on this little blogging adventure. It's nice to hear all your kind words of encouragement. So thank you! Strangers, too. You are all the best and you are all welcome here!

Sidenote #2: Do you have a blog? Let me know because I would love to check it out and leave you tons of comments and compliments.

The other day, as I sat down to read my Bible, I began to think about all of the times I have refrained from doing so. Then, since I almost always have a journal and pen nearby, some thoughts jumped out of my head and onto my paper and manifested themselves into the inky squiggles we like to call letters. It reads as follows:

One of the first signs of drifing away from God is not actually feeling like you have. Rather, it's no longer reading your Bible. It starts innocently with a day where you were just too busy. Eventually, you'll skip a few days because of that camping trip/business thang/fabulous vacation you had to go on where Bible's were off limits (Wait, no, you just forgot yours.(I'm hoping I don't sound condescending...forgive me if I do.)). 

Days turn into weeks and you know you should pick it up again, but you don't feel that far away from God. I mean, you just went to church and could really feel His presence there. Besides, they read seven verses in the sermon and you followed along. Bible read? Check.

From then on, you spiral downward. And that is when you begin to feel like you've drifted away from Him. You worry more. Peace is not in the Middle East nor in your heart. You don't feel that joy anymore, just momentary happiness because of fun adventures you've been on.

And even if you realize that your emotional distress is directly correlated with your slow fading relationship with Christ, you talk yourself out of being incredibly dedicated to Him once more.

1. I always end up drifting away; why don't I just stay away? 
2. It will take too long to build back our relationship. 
3. Will God really let me come back to Him? This is beyond the seventy times seventh time I've done this.

To the first one I say this: Because you have come to know God as the truth, you know that the truth and not following it bares consequences. Beyond that, though, we "all sin and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom. 3:23). The difference between the one fully dedicated to God and the one not is not that the former does not struggle and stray, but that they, time after time, pick up their cross and follow Him. We, too, must deny ourselves and our urge to quit fighting the good fight and follow Him daily.

I think the second reason is sometimes a bit silly. Oftentimes, after straying away from God, we assume that there is a gradual formulaic way we need to draw near to Him again. We feel strange experiencing radical moments in His presence immediately after admitting sin. Shouldn't there be punishment? Hurt before healing, so to speak? Our guilt and shame tell us that we are still tarnished despite His forgiveness that washes us white as snow. Therefore, it is often difficult for us to get to the place we were with God (or beyond that place) before sin infiltrated our lives. We feel that we must have lukewarm experiences instead of amazing ones in His presence.

But this is not His doing and not His desire for those who come back to Him. Like the son returning to the father in Luke 15, He wants to prepare a feast for us and to put shoes on our bare feet. It is our own shame that tells us we can only be like hired servants. When asking God for forgiveness, ask Him for the ability to forgive yourself as well. Guilt over past sins can hinder our relationship with God just as much as sin can.

As for the third reason, yes. God will let you come back to Him. In the old days people offered burnt sacrifices for their sins; they did this each time they disobeyed the law. But Jesus was sacrificed once and for all! It is finished. He is the final sacrifice and He is enough to cover all our sins present and future. Of course, we must not try to scheme our way around this. We must not continue sinning with the mindset of "Where sin is, grace is there also." In fact, the Bible cautions us against this kind of thinking in Romans 6:15. However, we must understand that we are imperfect beings incapable of living lives without sin. That is why we are saved by grace and not our own works.

Some of these mindsets that I've shared with you all are one's that I have had. Others are ones that I think others may be experiencing. I want to encourage you to draw near to Him while it is still called "Today." If your heart doesn't feel like it now then let the knowledge of Christ from what you have heard in the past be enough to push you towards Him. Eventually, your heart will come to yearn for His presence.

I love you, I'm praying for you, and God bless you!